


The One With A Bittersweet Ending

by keepquietplease



Series: Sanders Sides Stories [26]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: All of it is that, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has A Service Dog, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Autistic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Because I can, Break Up, Buff Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Little Shit, Drinking, Eventual Intruanxceit, Hurt/Comfort, I mean, M/M, Minor Angst, Multi, Post-Break Up, Pre-Break Up, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Light Sides - Freeform, Unsympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, cursing, just a little, just a little in this, kind of, obviously, rip to y'all but it's a lil true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: Virgil didn't like glasses.  Yeah, they looked good on Patton and Logan, but they didn't look good on him.  Contacts felt bad to him, so he never used them after the first attempt.He decided to walk the world blind.  His boyfriends were starting to notice how often he got headaches, and he was starting to realize how much they didn't trust him.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: Sanders Sides Stories [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837975
Comments: 16
Kudos: 248





	The One With A Bittersweet Ending

**Author's Note:**

> This may be my last fic (probably not, if I'm being honest. It'll probably just be less frequent).  
> The series will remain open in case I change my mind. I'm just running out of ideas. Maybe do a sequel of the serial killer one, but I doubt I have enough material to do that. Requests are always open, but don't force yourself.

When Virgil first became friends with Remus and Janus, he had perfect vision. He was five, after all, but he was jealous of Patton and Logan who wore glasses and looked good. He wanted nothing more than to wear glasses, but he didn't need them, so his parents didn't buy them. He hung around Remus and Janus more than the other three at that point. He was younger and felt lucky that Remus even talked to him since he was labeled a 'problem child' or whatever at school. Remus said it added character. Roman, when he first met Virgil, said Remus was childish for playing with babies. Remus came to his defense quickly, saying Virgil was only two years younger than the rest of them. Janus tried to make him stop crying as Remus yelled at his brother and his friends for calling Virgil a baby.

When Janus had to go abroad for half a year, Virgil had a total breakdown. It was when he was thirteen, and Remus stayed over at his house for four days to help him adjust. He begged his brother and his friends to be nice to Virgil when he came over. Patton let Virgil play with his glasses for nearly an hour, even if Virgil shrunk away from him when he got too close. They made an effort, which was nice, but Virgil made Remus stay close. He felt safer with Remus there.

He started having vision problems once he reached his junior year of high school. His friends were in college--and yes, he considered Patton, Logan, and Roman his friends at that point--and he felt like a freak most of the time. It was bad enough he was at a special school for his issues that were still undiagnosed, but he looked awful in glasses. The pair he had to get were big and bulky. They had a broken temple on the left side. They wouldn't stay on his face, and he was too scared to tell his parents he broke them, so he just held them up during class.

That was awhile ago, and they had all grown up. Virgil's 'problems' were diagnosed as autism and an anxiety disorder. He struggled with having inflection in his voice mainly. He always sounded deadpan. He didn't make many friends from high school or college, but he stayed in touch with the five people he knew well. He told them right away about his diagnoses. The minute he got medication for his anxiety, he told them because he was so fucking excited to see if they worked. Only Remus and Janus knew about his glasses. He trusted them not to share it, and no offense to the others, but he was still unsure about their relationship. He didn't know how long that would last, and he didn't want his ugly glasses to ruin it for him. Even when Roman invited him to join their romantic relationship, Virgil kept his glasses at home. He got them fixed, but it was the same ugly frames. It would be even worse if they broke up with him for that. Janus recommended contacts, but Virgil had a panic attack because of the feeling on his eyes. He decided it was better to be blind around the people he loved rather than scared, so he just never wore his glasses out.

That made everything so much worse.

Virgil wasn't nearsighted or farsighted. No, not that. Everything was blurry when his glasses were off. It started as one eye crossing a bit which was noticeable. Then his vision was just fucked. He used his hands to feel around in subtle ways when he was with his boyfriends. He never held eye contact anyway, so it wasn't odd when he stared at the ground during conversation. The only issue was if he had to get up to get something. He tried to avoid that, but sometimes he would have to get up, and he always blamed his bumping into stuff on him tripping over stuff. It usually worked, and Patton would dote on him with permission. He got a service dog for his anxiety at one point, and she was also trained as a seeing eye dog. He payed extra for that. He named her Sasha. Easy to remember.

He just didn't realize how bad the headaches got when he didn't wear his glasses for long periods of times. His outings with his boyfriends usually were an hour or three, which was fine, but this time he was there for longer. It just passed the five hour mark, and Virgil felt his head pounding as he tried to focus on the television where they were on their third romcom. He excused himself to the bathroom to splash water on his face, having the route there memorized at this point. He could practically have lived with them with how much time he spent there. Not that he would. He wasn't ready for that level of commitment. His dog was at his feet the whole time, entering the bathroom with him in case he needed her. The minute he got there he closed his eyes, gripping onto the sink for dear life. His head was killing him. He needed to lay down or something. He stayed in there for awhile, keeping his eyes closed until he felt the thumping die down. He heard a soft knock at the door, and the distinguishable voice of Logan.

"Virgil? Are you alright in there? You've been in there for awhile now."

He opened the door, eyes still closed. "Yeah, sorry. My head hurts a lot. Maybe all the movies. I thought if I just went to a quiet place it'd stop, but--"

"May I take your hand?"

Virgil nodded, feeling a calloused hand grip his own. Logan led him to his room, letting go to close the curtains. Sasha was at his side, making sure he was okay. Logan made his way back, carefully guiding Virgil to the bed. He kissed his head gently, excusing himself to alert the others where Virgil was and to grab headache medicine. Virgil laid down, fully aware he should just go home. Sasha stayed on the ground, knowing not to go on the bed without Logan's permission which she wouldn't get. Logan didn't want to deal with fur. Logan came in, sitting near his legs.

"Lift your head?"

Virgil did so, allowing Logan to give him the medicine and hold a water bottle to his lips. Virgil squeezed his hand to indicate when he was done with water.

"Thank you, L. I'm sorry. I should head home so I don't ruin the rest of the day--"

"No. Too late for that. You just rest here. I'll drive you home after you rest. Would you like for me to stay here with you?"

"Please."

"Separate or with me holding you?"

"Hold me. It's a good touch day."

Logan laid next him, pulling him close. Virgil nestled his head against his chest, letting out a small sigh of relief. His head didn't stop pounding, but he felt secure. Logan had that effect on him for some reason. Patton was more energetic and affectionate. Roman did grand gestures and held him super tightly when he was allowed. Logan was firm with his cuddling, but he also made sure Virgil was in a comfortable position. It also helped that he, for some reason, had more muscles than his polo showed. Virgil would be lying if he said he didn't always take adventure and run his hands up and down Logan's arms when they were in close contact. Logan didn't mind, so it was fine.

"Lo, what was it like when you first got your glasses? I mean, you've had them as long as I remember." Virgil asked in a whisper.

"Well, I started to wear them when I was four because I was nearsighted. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. You probably look sexy in them."

"Probably?"

Virgil froze, tensing up. Fuck. He didn't really have an idea of what Logan looked like clearly. It was all blurry, and he couldn't go based off of when he was in eighth grade. He didn't really take pictures of them either. He just remembered what they looked like when they were kids. 

"Not probably. Sorry. My head is really foggy. Words." Virgil answered, squeezing his arm. "I'm sorry. You look very sexy."

"Close your eyes. You need to rest. We'll talk about this later." 

Virgil took his word for it, allowing himself to ease into sleep before he dug himself further into a hole.

* * *

They were going for a little picnic. It was Patton's idea. He made everyones favorite sandwiches. They were walking to the park, Sasha slightly in front of Virgil to guide him. He didn't think much of it until Roman brought it up when they were sitting down.

"I mean, I know she helps you avoid strangers, but she acts like a seeing-eye dog." Roman said in between bites, and Virgil could tell he was staring Virgil down. "Why does she do that?"

"She was trained to be a seeing-eye dog as well. I didn't know that until I paid for her, but she's a good girl. She was worth the extra cost. She'll be helpful if Logan or Patton ever lose their glasses, too." Virgil had that memorized. Janus taught him that answer from the start. "She's helpful."

Roman hummed, and Virgil thought that was it. Patton passed out food, babbling about his job. Virgil listened, staring at his food. He made sure not to try to focus too much. Couldn't be getting headaches. Patton was talking about some kids who wouldn't get along in his class because of glitter paint for all reasons. Virgil smiled at that. He used to get pissed if someone tried to take his paint away from him. He definitely got into fist fights with other kids because he was so mad. He bit into his sandwich, enjoying the moment.

Until Roman hit him with egg salad.

"What the fuck?!" Virgil scooted back, touching the part on his face where the egg hit. "Why did you do that?!"

"I was testing your reflexes." Roman replied.

"By hitting me with food?! Really?!" Virgil crossed his arms, turning away from Roman. He felt highly uncomfortable and upset, and he didn't trust himself to speak without yelling. 

"I'm sorry. I thought you'd see it coming. Don't get so angry."

"Well fuck my perception skills I guess!" 

The atmosphere got uncomfortable. Virgil felt bad that it got awkward, but he was both angry that Roman would do that and scared they figured it out. He took deep breaths, trying to calm down. He just needed a minute. He had to process what he was feeling and what Roman was probably feeling. He drummed his fingers against his thigh, closing his eyes. Patton quietly continued the conversation, trying to ease the tension. It helped a bit. Virgil was still pissed, but Sasha placed her head in his lap, helping him calm down. He ran his fingers through her fur, humming. He flapped his hands slightly, smiling. It felt good to do that, and it helped relieve his tension. Still mad, but he was feeling better.

"I truly am sorry. I should've known it would upset you." Roman repeated, moving closer. "Shall I shove egg salad on my face?"

"Ew. No. Just don't throw food at me." Virgil made a face. "Don't like egg salad. I won't kiss you if you have it on your face."

"I just think it's weird you'd pay extra for a seeing-eye dog when you don't like spending money." Logan spoke up, bringing the conversation back to that. Virgil could feel his stare. 

"I liked Sasha. She was already a good fit when I first met her. It was a little scary having to pay extra, but I just worked extra hours at my job." Virgil was tensing up again, frowning. "Why are you interrogating me about this?"

"Oh! We're not, honey. She's a good girl!" Patton cooed, pulling out dog treats. "Can she?"

"I already told her she's off duty. She's all yours."

Patton led Sasha to him with treats, giving her pets and praises for taking care of Virgil. Virgil laid back on their blanket, enjoying the soft breeze. Roman took his hand, rubbing circles on his palm. Virgil squeezed him lightly. Roman immediately squeezed back, looking at him.

"You know you don't have to hide anything from us, right?" Patton said, pausing the belly rub he was giving. "We won't judge you for anything. You should be honest with us at all times."

Virgil didn't answer, silently praying for the topic to change. He knew it probably wouldn't. Once they got focused on a conversation, it had to have a fitting end. His silence wasn't good enough, and he didn't want to tell them he was uncomfortable because then they'd know something was wrong. They knew already, yeah, but he didn't need to give anymore evidence than was already there.

"I could ask Remus--"

"He wouldn't tell us. You know this, Roman. Neither of them would share something Virgil was hiding. He has to tell us himself." Logan replied, taking a bite of his apple. "He won't. He should."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Virgil mumbled, sitting back up and pulling his hand away from Roman's hand. 

"Sorry," Patton replied sheepishly. "We're just worried about you. You're not telling us something."

"I'm fine. I just don't like this conversation. It feels like an intervention or something. I want a nice outing." Fuck, his head was starting to hurt. He was trying to focus on his hands, and that was making it worse. It was just a dull pain at the moment, so nothing terrible. He could last the hour lunch took. "Ro, how was the show you went to? Remus was gonna call me once I got home to tell me, but I want to hear your opinion first."

Roman, seemingly distracted, went on a long monologue about how good the show was. Virgil let himself relax, smiling as he heard all about the set and design. The conversation would come back up, that he knew, but for now he was safe by exploiting Roman's love of theater.

* * *

He wore his glasses to work. He wore them when he had Remus and Janus over. He didn't wear them if he went out for any other reason, but today he had to. Janus and Remus wanted to get drunk at their place, and Virgil had to drive there. He needed them to legally be allowed to drive, and it wasn't going to be a bunch of people. Just Remus and Janus, he reminded himself. He let Sasha stay home that day since he'd be able to see, and he already took his meds for the day. She deserved a day off to play with her toys. The doggy door to the backyard was open so she could use the bathroom whilst he was out. He fed her before leaving. The drive was nice and calm. He turned on music, keeping the volume low. He got there in thirty minutes, letting himself in. He had keys to their house, and they had one to his own. Something Patton didn't like for some reason, but Virgil was fine with it.

"Virgil! Looking good with the glasses!" Remus slurred, a little tipsy already. Virgil smiled politely, sitting down on the couch. "Janus! Get the man a drink! He's sober."

"How dreadful." Janus was, obviously, sober. He gave Virgil a glass full of a mixture of alcohol. "I apologize. Remus couldn't wait like the rest of us. Enjoy whatever creation he made. I'm wary to drink it myself, but he insists."

Virgil took a sip, making a face. "Is that vodka and chardonnay together?"

"A little bit of rum and bourbon too!" Remus reported, smiling. "Taste good?"

"Hey, it'll get me drunk." Virgil downed his glass, wincing at the taste. "Okay, now I'm pouring myself a drink."

"Fuck yeah! Down that shit Virgil!"

Virgil went to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets. He wanted to get properly drunk. He'd be staying over anyway. He poured himself shots, bringing them out so he didn't have to keep going back and forth. Remus cheered him on as Janus silently observed, drinking straight from a bottle of rum. It was fun, unwinding like this. Sure, tomorrow they'd all have hangovers and regret their decisions, but for now it was fine. They'd get breakfast and coffee in the morning to help ease the pain.

Virgil got rather clingy when he was drunk. He needed physical affection from someone, and he missed Patton. Patton would've scooped him up and held him for hours on end. Janus was the best by far, though. Virgil sat on his lap, curling up as he took the rum bottle and took a swig.

"Stealing my drink now? So mature." Janus took it back, rubbing his back. "I'm offended."

Virgil picked up his phone, checking more messages from his boyfriends. He was pretty drunk right now. He sent a picture to their group chat. It was him holding up a shot, his glasses falling down to his nose slightly. The frames still didn't fit perfectly, but it was a good picture. At least that's what his mind said when he was drunk. He sent it before downing the shot, putting his phone down. This was their relaxing night. No boyfriends allowed. Before Virgil was dating the three, it was also a night for experimentation and a lot of making out, but he was off limits now. Janus and Remus still made out plenty when they were drunk. He ignored his buzzing phone in favor of drinking more. Janus ordered food, having the great idea that fried food would pair extremely well with their drinks. He wasn't wrong. Fries tasted like heaven right then. Virgil glanced at his phone, seeing about fifteen new messages. He ignored it. He could worry about it in the morning.

* * *

"Oh god I sent them a picture of me in my glasses. Why did I do that?"

"Virgil, darling, eat your pancakes. It can't be that bad." 

"Janus! They're gonna break up with me!"

"You don't look that bad with glasses." Remus offered, pouring an obscene amount of syrup on his pancakes. "I think you look good with them."

"That's not it! I've been lying to them for years now! They'll be mad about that! They'll break up with me for hiding secrets, and they won't be able to trust me anymore. I'm too scared to look at my phone."

Janus sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around him. "I don't think they'll break up with you over this. Everyone hides something, no matter how small it is. You don't share everything with the world. Weird birthmarks, your actual taste in music, family secrets. Everyone has their secrets."

"Not when you're dating someone for that long. Who goes around blind just because they feel uncomfortable with how they look in glasses."

"Roman used to hide the fact he had a mole on his cheek." Remus pointed out with a smile. He didn't look as sure as Janus did, which worried Virgil. "He'd cover it with makeup because of how big it was."

"But lots of people do that!"

"And a lot of people don't wear glasses because they hate how they look. Some wear contacts, but others suffer. It's fine. Want me to read the messages for you?"

Virgil nodded, handing his phone over. He watched Janus' facial expression. He usually kept a poker face, but he looked downright mad. At Virgil? At his boyfriends? He didn't know. Janus wasn't speaking, just scrolling through. He put the phone down, taking a deep breath.

"Actually, you should break up with them. They're awful. They are making a big deal about you hiding it. Not helpful. I think you should just leave them."

Virgil groaned, moving his pancakes and hitting his head against the table. "Ow. That hurt."

"Don't hurt yourself."

"I knew it'd be a big deal. I don't know why I didn't just tell them I wore glasses. What'd they say?"

"Well, Patton thinks they did something wrong. Roman doesn't understand why you don't tell them things. Logan was the one who figured out you didn't just buy them somehow. He didn't participate as much as the other two. Still think you should call it off with them. They're jerks."

"They're going to dump me. I bet I'll get a call or message that's them saying it isn't working out. It's going to be awful. I hate my fucking glasses. Roman threw egg salad at my face last week, and I knew he figured it out."

"Holy shit. Break up with them. Why did my brother throw food at you?!" Remus looked pissed. Virgil pushed his glasses up, knowing they'd just slide down again.

"He was seeing how my reflexes were. I think he knew I couldn't see anything clearly. I don't want to break up with them. They make me--" Virgil cut himself off. Did they make him happy? He wasn't really sure anymore. "I want to make them happy."

Janus was typing on Virgil's phone. Virgil didn't see him pick it back up, but he was clearly responding to them. By the way his fingers were moving, it was a paragraph. All written in one long message. Janus only did long texts when he was actually mad. He tried to keep things concise. He was typing quickly and roughly before he sent it, keeping the phone near him. "I told them you didn't like your glasses, and that you found yourself caught in the lie after you decided to hide them. I also called them unflattering things. They know I sent it."

"I'm sorry today turned into this. Remind me not to drunk text people."

"Could've been worse. Could've sent nudes."

"Thank you Remus. That's exactly what I want to hear."

Virgil's phone buzzed, and Janus snatched it up. He read it before responding, still looking pretty pissed off. Janus calmly put it down, smiling. "What time do you have to go home?"

"Soon probably. Sasha is probably waiting for me. She'll want to go on a walk. I'll need her if they actually do break up with me."

"Hey, call us if they do. We'll come over and write shitty poetry." Remus took his hand, squeezing it. "Alright?"

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

They did break up with him, and Virgil was an absolute mess. The lying about his glasses pushed it. Virgil didn't know how to explain why he continued to lie to them, and he didn't know how to convince them to trust him. They all said Virgil needed time to work on himself, and they broke up. Remus stayed true to his word, and he and Janus came over to comfort him. Virgil had an even worse relationship with his glasses. For the first month he refused to wear them at all. His eyesight was getting worse and worse. Janus finally convinced him to wear them to work, and then around the house. On his birthday, Janus and Remus bought him new glasses that fit his face. Still big and bulky, but that was because Remus claimed it made him cuter.

He didn't hear from his exes on his birthday.

It sucked, and even after a year passed, he felt dumb and upset. He moved on, sure, but there was still part of him that wondered how different things would have turned out. He was getting used to the changes, though. 

That's when Remus started courting him.

Small things. Stim toys and a fidget ring. Taking him out to dinner. Asking if it was a good or bad touch day before showering him in affection. If it was good, it'd be all kisses. If it was bad, it'd be sitting with him and talking for hours on end about stupid shit at work. It took Virgil a bit to figure out he was being courted, and it was only after Remus told him to get a clue when he was drunk that Virgil pieced it together. He asked Remus to wait another year, and he did. Virgil still hadn't heard from his exes, and he was comfortable in his glasses. Sasha was used mostly for his anxiety now, since his glasses made the world clear. He decided to humor Remus, and he found himself happier when Remus would kiss him and hold his hands than he ever was before.

Janus courted him next. Not a big surprise since Janus and Remus always joked about stealing Virgil away together. He suspected Janus took longer to make sure Virgil was comfortable. Janus did his courting differently. He confessed at the start that he was always attracted to Virgil. Ever since they were kids, he was the one who snuck valentines in his bag and love letters under his desk. He hated when Virgil started dating other people, holding a rule in his home of no displays of affection. A jealous, bitter man? Yes, but he never interfered negatively. He supported Virgil throughout, and he was a bit upset when the three gave up on Virgil. He didn't seize the opportunity until he was sure Virgil would be ready.

Virgil was sitting between the two, filling out forms for his job. Remus was hanging upside down on the couch, chewing bubblegum and blowing giant bubbles. Janus was doing his nails, glancing at Virgil and Remus before clearing his throat.

"I heard from Roman today."

Virgil nodded, not looking up.

"He asked how you were doing. Said he wanted to meet up with you. They all do."

"Do they know I moved on?"

"I didn't say anything."

Virgil flipped a page, continuing to fill out whatever it was. "Why do they want to see me after ghosting me? I get we broke up, but they could've still talked to me during that time."

"Who knows? Why would you want to see them?" Remus spat out, reaching out a hand which Virgil took. "I'll support you if you do, but I don't see the point."

"Would it be beneficial if we joined you?" 

"Yeah, probably. I don't want to see them alone. I'm mad. Maybe they cut contact because they thought it would help or maybe I hurt them. All I know is they never answered me, and I got confused and upset. I'm still confused. I wish they just told me I was a burden or something."

"Hey. Stop that. Stop thinking that." Remus kissed his hand.

"I mean, the relationship wasn't terrible. I thought it was good. I get that they all hate lying, so that set off the break up, but I don't know what I did to make them just drop contact. Why did they talk to you and not me? Am I that awful and unstable that they can't contact me?" Virgil put the form and pen down. "I don't think I want to see them. They obviously don't want to talk to me directly."

"I'll let them know." Janus got up to get his phone, giving Sasha a pat as he passed her sleeping form.

"Hey, Virgil. Guess what. Hey. Hey."

"Yes Remus?"

"You got the better twin."

Virgil smiled before leaning against him, squeezing his hand. "I did, huh?"

"For one, I don't hog the bathroom for two hours. I also enjoy watching you do art pieces based off of your extreme emotions. My favorite one is the one where you broke the canvas six times." Remus kissed his hand more, leading up his arm. "Actually, I'm the lucky one. When you flap your hands around, it makes me happy. Don't know if it's because I know that it makes you happy or if it's because you look so cute. Also, you're super great at being the big spoon when I need it. I know Jan likes being a big spoon too, but you in the middle? Perfect. Love when you squeeze me in your sleep. Even when it's a no touching day. Love how you still make sure I'm comfortable before passing out."

"I stay over a lot, don't I?"

"Move in."

"Maybe in the future. Not now. Don't want things to change too quickly. Once I feel comfortable staying here for two months, I'll consider. We're only up to a week."

Remus kissed his nose, giving a small nod as he pulled back. "Alright, but our offer still stands. It will stand until you're ready. Even if that's after we all die. Your ghost can move in with our ghosts."

Virgil laughed at that, spinning his ring. Remus smiled at that, happy Virgil used the gift. Janus came back into the room, sitting down with his phone and texting Roman back. Virgil peeked over his shoulder, watching him type. Janus mentioned if Roman was serious, he should've contacted Virgil himself. Virgil pinched his cheek in response, smiling. Janus stopped his typing to turn to Virgil and smile back before going back to lecturing Roman. At one point he turned off his phone, slamming it against the coffee table. Virgil flinched at that, cowering away.

"I'm sorry, love. Patton said something that made me very upset. I'm sorry I slammed my phone down."

Virgil hesitated. Did he really want to know? 

Yes.

"What'd he say about me?"

Janus' face softened, cupping Virgil's face gently. "He said he didn't know how to handle your disorder. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't about you, and it was more about him realizing he doesn't know. I just got angry that he thought he had to handle you."

"Has that always been a problem with them?"

Janus let go of him, glancing at Remus. Remus popped his bubble, frowning. Remus turned to him before speaking. "They always felt like they were walking on eggshells with you, which is bullshit. They never did the research or thought to ask you. Roman would come to me asking what was okay with you. I usually told him to ask you, but yeah. They never want to ask you in case it makes you upset and you, and these are their words, act out."

"Well I'm upset now. That's very frustrating that they wouldn't just come to me about this. Do I actually throw tantrums?"

"Virge, gonna be honest." Remus said, smiling again. "No. You don't. Sometimes you need to step away and not talk for a bit, but you haven't had a full outburst for awhile. I mean, I guess when they broke up with you, but everyone kind of loses it when that happens."

"Sometimes I lose my temper, but--"

"They're being jerks. So what if you lose your temper? Janus just lost his temper! They shouldn't have to avoid talking to you about things."

"Remus. Tell him." Janus said quietly. Remus didn't say anything, so he took Virgil's hand and squeezed it. "They had the suspicion you were having an affair with us. Remus convinced them you weren't, but for the longest time they would come spy on our outings. Anytime Remus and I asked you to go with us blind because we thought it would fit your aesthetic to go without glasses? They were watching us. Waiting for proof that you were cheating. Remus had to hide it from both of us. He only told me after they broke up with you. That's why we both took so long to court you. Me especially. That's also why I didn't tell them you were dating us now."

"Why--"

"You struggle with connections."

"Yes?"

"They thought we were too close for just friends. Especially for someone who struggled to connect with others. What friends have keys to each other's homes or know their schedules like clockwork? Again, their words."

"Which isn't fair! We've been friends with you longer than they even considered you someone they'd talk to!" Remus spoke so quickly his gum fell out of his mouth onto the floor. He picked it back up and put it in his mouth.

"Ew! Get a new piece of gum!" Virgil laughed as Remus tried to kiss him. "Gross!"

"Anyway, it's unfair they'd even suggest that. I was waiting for you to break up with them. I love my brother or whatever, but he's so insecure when someone else joins the relationship. They all are."

"I don't want to meet up with them." Virgil was still smiling thanks to Remus and his gum. "You should've told me this before. Wish I knew I was being watched. Explains why lying about glasses is what pushed them over the edge. They were looking for anything to get out of it. They didn't even want to date me, did they?"

"I can't promise you that they did. They obviously also didn't know how. Roman and I were raised to believe anyone who wasn't neurotypical was difficult. We both weren't neurotypical, but Roman was better at playing the part. I rejected it right away, but he wanted to make them proud and be a good son. It stuck with him more. He thought people who were different were difficult. Patton's a sweet guy, but he needs to do more research into things. He sees one story and believes it's true. Pretty sure he still thinks Autism Speaks is a good organization. Logan, uh, well, this isn't easy to say. How many spoons do you have?"

"I have exactly one, but I'd rather feel like a train wreck tonight than feel like garbage for two days. Hit me."

"He probably viewed you more as a test than a relationship. He may have not really cared for the most part."

Yeah, that one hurt. Especially since Logan was the one Virgil felt safest with. That fucking sucked. Virgil must have physically deflated from that. Janus was rubbing circles on his side as Remus kissed his hand. Virgil wiped his face with the hand not being kissed, feeling his emotions getting a bit too much for him. He spent years with these people. Years of dating and laughter and what he thought was love. Years he wouldn't get back. Even if he was over them, learning that he was just an issue the whole time sucked.

"I don't want to see them again. Ever. I don't want them to view me as a fucking experiment or a problem they need to solve. You don't think of me like that, right?"

"Virgil, I bit a kid who I thought was a problem when I was ten. I would have bitten you by now." Remus promised, feeling Virgil squeeze his hand gently. 

"I would never in a million years consider you a problem or an experiment. I mean, when we were teenagers, and I kissed you for the first time? That was experimenting with my sexuality. Way more than just the love letters I wrote for you, but you weren't the experiment." Janus said, and he put his head on Virgil's shoulder. "We love you. I'll confess again and again until you memorize it. Until you realize we're not them."

"I know you're not them."

"You don't have to lie for us. We'll take all the time reminding you of our love, but you don't need to pretend you're stable after hearing something so horrid. No one would be okay after that. Oh dear." Janus pulled him close as he began to cry. "It's alright, love. Let it out."

They stayed there for a long time. Janus' phone continued to buzz with notifications as they opted to ignore it. They were done with that. Remus, obviously, wasn't done with his brother. He'd see him during holidays and family events, but he was mad. Virgil was never going to any family event, just so he'd feel safe. Janus would stay with Virgil when Remus was gone. 

For now, they would pretend those three didn't exist. All that truly mattered in this moment was the three of them, and finding out how to achieve their happy ending.

And if they had to wait, they'd do just that. Virgil was well worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe the last author fact: my OTP is actually analogical. Probs said this before, but whatever. Don't know why I never wrote as much, but I felt weird putting my ship first.
> 
> Spoons: a term for mental health and how much you can take for anyone who doesn't know that slang (I found out this year what it meant).


End file.
